DREAMS MAY COME TRUE

Reality can destroy the dream;
why shouldn't the dream destroy reality?

George Moore

My best friend is a very wise woman. She knows how life goes, where it goes and why it goes there and not in any other direction. Maybe I´m not that wise, but I know that too. So when something unpleasant happens to us, of course, at first we, like many other ‘normal’ people, get nervous, irritated, but when the first reaction passes by and we become able to start thinking, we try to find the meaning of what has happened. When we cannot find the certain explanation, we say: ‘it’s karma in action’. I know, many people don't believe in this ‘bullshit’, but we do, and this let us see justice of life in all its apparent injustice, to feel better about it, and keep going.

I’ve noticed a curious thing: most of the dreams that I’d had during my school years began to become fulfilled when I reached 18. Maybe my willing power wasn’t strong enough when I was younger, or maybe this Universe doesn’t hear kids and teens at all:)
The problem is that in those far and sweet times I had different preferences, didn’t know a lot of useful stuff about life, and when I wanted something to happen, I really meant it to happen THEN, in that moment or in the nearest future. I knew what I wanted, I liked it the way it WAS THEN, and I wanted it. You know, time passes by, things change, people do the same…

When we were kids, my mom used to take me and my brother to her parents’ village for our summer vacations. Three months without parents, it was nearly a total freedom!:) It was really cool:)
Once, being on such summer vacations, when I was about 10, I remember we were watching a childish movie called ‘Bronze Bird’. It was a movie about a campany of kids of about 12, helping adults in their battle against ‘enemies of the new socialistic order’ in the revolutionary years in Russia. You know, we lived in the USSR then and there was plenty of such kind of movies on TV.
In the movie, there were two boys, a leader of that campany, and his best friend. As you can imagine, being a very easily excited girl, I just fell in love with the main hero. Well… they were heroes! Was it possible not to fall in love!:) After that I’ve watched that movie few more times as it was not so bad at all, and each time watching it I was dreaming about that main hero. Even being a big dreamer during whole my life, I am always realistic at the same time. So was I when I was a kid, and I’ve thought once: ‘Well, I know, it’s uneasy to be together with the main hero, he’s too popular. But his friend is also a nice guy. So, if I only could ever meet that guy, it would be great anyway…’ This thought appeared suddenly, crossed my mind very fast and disappeared like a falling star in the august sky. Though, I remember it very well, especially now, after that what’s happened to me later…

Anyway, years have passed, the movie together with that whole story were left behind. Since I’d grown up and become somewhat more serious and not that easily falling in love, all those childhood dreams seemed just a funny bullshit to me then…

A few years ago, I started my work in one holding company. There were a lot of commercial agents working there. And there was also one short man, he didn’t seem that nice to me, an alcoholic type (his appearance in your room would be enough to make you believe me, even if you were sitting there with your eyes shut. Any time, even early in the morning… he was totally alcoholized:)) That man was calm and polite, I would say there was even some servility in his behavior when he entered our boss’ cabinet. I feel sorry for such people normally, and always try to be as polite with them as it's possible, maybe even more than with any other ones.

Once, while I was talking to one of my friends in that company, that man passed us by. My friend glanced at him, then looked at me and said: ‘By the way, do you know who’s that man?’ I answered: ‘No idea’. Then she said: ‘Well, have you ever watched a childish movie called ‘Bronze Bird’?’ (That was the title of the movie that I loved so much when I was a kid! While she was saying this I started to guess but I could hardly believe it!) ‘So’, - continued she, - ‘this man performed the best friend of the main hero in that movie’. I was thunderstruck. It’s possible to get quite shocked when you see what time and alcohol can make to people that you liked so much when they were very young…

Thus, my colleague made me remember that movie, that summer time of my childhood, and… my stupid childhood dreams… There was only a single idea that crossed my mind then: ‘Thanks God, my childhood dreams don’t come true that often!’ It was quite a relief:))
In about a year, the holding became smaller as all the companies had been separated and got their autonomy. Sometimes it happens, first we´re so happy together, and later every part gets tired of the other one and wants its autonomy back:) I hope it has never happened and will never happen to you. Anyway, this situation made people in our part of that ex-holding communicate more and know each other better.

One day my friend comes to work and tells me that that man has started to phone her drunk, telling her how much he likes me and insisting her to give him my phone number… One more thunderstruck:))) I said: ‘Never, never give him my phone number, please!’ She answered calming: ‘Be sure, I’ll never do it’. I knew she wouldn’t. She’s a good girl:)) Although, this incident made me worry a little. But at the end, I thought: ‘This fellow seems to be polite and very calm. He’s probably very shy and would never dare to act directly, so it’s stupid to take it serious’. But you know, probably I’d never been so mistaken in my life as when I thought so. And it didn’t take that guy much time to confirm it.

My black days came: he’d given a real chase to me. All my friends in the company knew how much he liked me! Indeed, it was impossible for them to forget it since he used to tell them about it quite often. The smell of alcohol was always around me. And, you know, it was not just a smell of alcohol… if you ever sensed how real alcoholics smell, you know what I’m talking about it. You can take one breath and you get completely intoxicated. At least that’s what happens to me. I’ve spent so much time without taking a single breath during that year that I could easily pass an exam to become a professional diver and to save on aqualung. That’s for sure:)))
I’ve even tried to talk to him several times, taking risk of losing my consciousness:) but it was hopeless. He just looked at me like he had a goal to torture me. And I know he did…
Imagine then the great happiness that came to my life finally when that man found his love! I’ve never seen that woman, but I was so thankful to her that if I’ve only met her, I couldn’t help giving her a big warm hug from all my heart!:)))

…We all are God’s creatures, and at the same time each of us is a grain of God. I know that very well, and I knew it when that story was happening to me. I knew that I was to behave another way in that situation, to be much more understanding, friendly, and just to love that man. I mean the universal love… I knew that, I realized what was going on, why it was going on to me and what was the purpose of all this. I knew I could have passed one more exam of my life that time… but I didn’t. I knew I was a loser then. I was so irritated that it was unbelievably uneasy for me to deal with my emotions… I knew that probably, if I behaved another way then, I wouldn’t need to wait a year for that guy to stop his game. So, my pride won and my wisdom lost. And I lost together with my wisdom:) Well… some other time, maybe…

Recently, my best friend has found her love. It wasn't actually her brand-new love, but a man that she had been in love with for the first time about 20 years ago. She was extremely happy. Well, it wasn’t in fact a new love, but one of her old once. My friend has been walking on clouds all month long. She couldn’t sleep nor eat. She was in love up to her ears. It seemed hopelessly to meet her in the nearest 20 years.
A week ago I got an SMS from her finally. It didn’t sound good though. This love stress had had quite contradictory effect on her organism. On one hand, she lost some pounds. I believe some of you know how pleasant it is to get rid of your extra weight:) On the other hand, her pressure rose extremely high, so high that doctors suggested her to spend some time in a hospital. But she refused. I would do the same. I just don’t like the yellow color they paint walls there. It’s some specific yellow, I would call it ‘depressive yellow’. It can be very powerful in killing the rests of your will to live:)). It doesn’t exist anywhere in the world except for Russian hospitals, I believe:))
But that wasn’t all that had happened to my friend. There was also a well-known phrase: ‘I’m looking into my karma tasks’. It didn’t sound that optimistic. It never does. It sounds like ‘à la guerre comme à la guerre’, like something that you feel you cannot change and need to take it as it is.
When I phoned her she told me: ‘You know what? He drinks! I knew he had been drinking quite with his previous wife, but I thought he would have stopped… You know, I’ve programmed everything: that I needed a man from my past, the one who had remembered me. The one who would be warm-hearted, loving, taking care of me, I even programmed his subsistence level. And you know what? I got that all just on time I had planned to get it, just the way I wanted it to be, even the subsistence level’ (well, I on my turn, not to make you think that my friend is able to get WHATEVER she wishes, will add that she didn’t ask for much, just exactly what she needed to live her common life. She considers, and I'm agree with her in this point, that it's also very important to know what you may wish and what you man not... just not to get disappointed not getting what you have wished. God always gives us only that what we really need in this life, even though sometimes it may seem unfair:)). She continued: ‘He is just the man that I have wished, but…’ ‘…you forgot to mention alcohol…’ – I continued. ‘Yes!’, - said she. ‘How I could forget about it! Every one of my men had some problem with it, and I’ve been always wondering, maybe it’s about my karma? Don’t know how I could forget about alcohol this time!’ ‘And what are you going to do now?’ – I asked then. ‘Well, I’ll wait and see. I just don’t know how long I’ll be able to wait…’

She’s still optimistic about it anyway. Because she’s wise, that’s one of the good reasons for me to love her:) She’s nearly as wise as her mom was.

You know, her mom was very much into esoteric stuff. It seemed she had read all the books on that. To die, she was preparing as though she was going just to change her location. I remember I was talking to her two weeks before she died. She told me then: ‘Well, my dear, you know, I’m leaving soon. Be happy, please!’ I didn’t hear any disappointment or sadness in her voice. She sounded so peaceful and happy… She’d been waiting for her vacations for so many years and now she was taking them finally to leave this stifling office and to visit an amazing place she’d been dreaming of. That’s how she sounded.
She said to my friend once: ‘Remember, my dear, nobody should get stuck to anything or anyone in this life. That’s why everyone you love always has something disagreeable in his character. This is made so as to not to let you get too much depended emotionally on that person’.
Her vacations started a year ago, just two weeks before her 70^th birthday… I’ll say the same that one lovely guy says in such cases: ‘May God rest her soul in peace’. Though, I’m absolutely sure she’s in peace as she was really wonderful…, a pure soul… And I'm so glad that I had an opportunity to know her...

...Some people believe that it's very important to be careful with our dreams. Cause in case we are not, our dreams may disappoint us coming true one day some surprising and unexpected way:) Looking back to what has happened to me and my best friend I would say, they are not too wide from truth:))